Oh Happy Day...For Someone Else

Today I am feeling angry, upset, confused, sad and joyful. A lot of different emotions to be feeling at one time. I had a difficult time falling asleep last night because I was thinking of a friend and his situation. Today, an old friend of mine is having a baby. The due date is tomorrow but they decided to induce labor today since the mother has been dilated for a couple of days now. I feel happy for my dear friend who is bringing a child into this world, but I'm also very upset and confused. See, my friend and his girlfriend are not married. They are not even living together at the moment. He tells me they fight constantly and they don't trust each other for good reasons. Yet, they have been blessed to have a child. This will be the first child for my friend (29) and the third child for his girlfriend (23). I believe I am more confused than jealous or upset. Why is it that a couple who had no plans for a child and is not ready to bring a child into this world financially has been blessed with one? Why is it that Chris and I, who are emotionally and financially ready to have a child are unable to successfully have one? I know the saying, "its not fair...well, life is not fair" is true - but it doesn't make it suck any less. There are so many teen moms (as seen on 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom 1 and 2) that are having children because of a lapse in judgment. They are able to easily conceive and have a child, while there are thousands of us out there who are willing but unable to have a child. All my life I thought about when I would get married and have kids. In the back of my mind, I honestly believed that I would have issues having a child. I didn't know I was actually right. I know there are plenty of couples in the world who are going through the same thing as us. Many couples have tried for decades to have a child through many different methods. I'm not looking for sympathy. We have only been trying for a couple of months now. But we keep having these false hopes and let downs while other individuals seem to easily be having children. I'm sure our time will come to be parents at some point, whether we adopt or have a child of our own. The waiting game is a difficult one though.

Don't get me wrong, I wish my friend and his girlfriend a lifetime of blessings, happiness and joy. I'm sure they will both make wonderful parents. But I hope they realize just how lucky they truly are and what a blessing they have on the way today. Best of luck to baby Andrew and his parents!